Ruby Tells All

When I was told, as Delta children were,

That crops don't grow unless you sweat at night,

I thought that it was my own sweat they meant.

I have never felt as important again

As on those early mornings, waking up,

My body slick, the moon full on the fields.

That was before air conditioning.

Farm girls sleep cool now and wake up dry

But still the cotton overflows the fields.

We lose everything that's grand and foolish;

It all becomes something else.  One by one,

Butterflies turn into catterpillars

And we grow up, or more or less we do,

And, Lord, we do lie then. We lie so much

Truth has a false ring and it's hard to tell.

I wouldn't take crap off anybody

If I just knew I was getting crap

In time not to take it.  I could have won

A small one now and then if I was smarter,

But I've poured coffee here too many years

For men who rolled in in Peterbilts,

And I have gotten into bed with some

If they could talk and seemed to be in pain.

I never asked for anything myself;

Giving is more blessed and leaves you free.

There was a man, married and fond of whiskey.

Given the limitations of men, he loved me.

Lord, we laid concern upon our bodies

But then he left.  Everything has its time.

We used to dance.  He made me feel the way

A human wants to feel and fears to.

He was a slow man and didn't expect.

I would get off work and find him waiting.

We'd have a drink or two and kiss awhile.

Then a bird-loud morning late one April

We woke up naked.  We had made a child.

She's grown up now and gone though God knows where.

She ought to write, for I do love her dearly

Who raised her carefully and dressed her well.

Everything has its time.  For thirty years

I have never had a thought about time.

Now, turning through newspapers, I pause

To see if anyone was passed away

Was younger than I am.  If one was

I feel hollow for a little while

But then it passes.  Nothing matters enough

To stay bent down about.  You have to see

That some things matter slightly and some don't.

Dying matters a little.  So does pain.

So does being old.  Men do not.

Men live by negatives, like don't give up,

Don't be a coward, don't call me a liar,

Don't ever tell me don't.  If I could live

Two hundred years and had to be a man

I'd take my grave.  What's a man but a match,

A little stick to start a fire with?

My daughter knows this, if she's alive.

What could I tell her now, to bring her close,

Something she doesn't know, if we met somewhere?

Maybe that I think about her father,

Maybe that my fingers hurt at night,

Maybe that against appearances

There is love, constancy and kindness,

That I have dresses I have never worn.

--Miller Williams